June 2004: He Falls Off His Bike

Although it's time for my usual "my birthdays suck" rant, this year I'm working on my birthday, so the sucking part is well taken care of. (Feel free to visit my resume. . .) And since I probably won't do another one of these rants until at least the fall, I feel I should write about something consequential instead. So here it is: it doesn't matter that John Kerry looks like Herman Munster, or that he's not what you'd call "charismatic," or even if he picks one of my dogs as his running mate. (Jinks and Molly will decline; Speedy may go for it.) You MUST vote Democratic, and that means voting for Kerry.

I shouldn't have to explain this, but here it is in the shortest form possible: George Bush is a big idiot. If he were just your run-of-the-mill idiot, this might not be a problem. I mean, how much damage did Gerald Ford do when he was President? (Except to himself, of course.) Sure, he was a boob, but he was a benign boob. Georgie is anything but benign; he's cancerous. And he fell off his bike.

Bush has surrounded himself with one of the most evil cadres of people put together since the Spanish Inquisition. Or Jefferson Starship. They're nothing but a bunch of spoiled right-wing fascist hooligans living the life of white man (including you, Condaleeza Rice you traitor woman), while trying to ensure that "the rich get rich" while the rest of us get screwed. And they're cloaking it all in faux piety and patriotism hoping that they can fool people. Unfortunately if the latest pre-election polls are any indication of what's really going through people's minds, they're succeeding.

As usual, I put a lot of the blame on the media, one of the worse plagues of modern times. For the most part they just keep spewing out the crap that the Bush administration throws out, even though anyone with half a brain knows that you can't believe a damn word they say about anything. The Bush gang does everything from actually manipulating statistics ("Hello, Bureau of Labor Statistics? Just don't include XXX as part of the monthly unemployment report anymore.") to just refusing to answer questions, e.g. Dick Cheney's automaton-like mantra about the (non-existent) relationship between al Qaeda and Iraq.

[Aside: And what is with Georgie's totally irrational desire to pair Iraq/Saddam Hussein with Osama Bin Ladin/al Qaeda? It's like he's in sixth grade and he has a secret crush on one of them, so he keeps trying to spread rumors about them being together. ]

And he fell off his bike.

I could go into more detail, but you can find all that stuff elsewhere. More importantly, I don't think intelligent, forward-thinking human beings should need it. Unless you've been living under a rock, you know that Bush and his administration are an unethical and immoral oligarchy just out to make themselves and their wealthy friends richer. And to make sure straight white men are in charge of everything, including women's bodies and the right of people to "marry" whomever they want to marry.

A woman's right to choose and Gay marriage (the government should issue civil union licenses to everyone, period; marriage is a purely religious issue) gets into the whole issue of separation of church and state. Granted, Bush isn't the first President to try to meld these two things, but he's going at it with a fervor that hasn't been seen in quite some time. I'm probably more religious than most people I know, but government is one thing, religion is another, and the twain should never meet. I'm always appalled at how these alleged "Christians" have totally misinterpreted what Christianity is really about and only use it to further their own twisted agenda. What would Jesus do? I'll tell you what Jesus would do, you holier-than-thou pinheads. Jesus would slap all of you silly and say "SHUT UP." (And probably, "Holy crap, you fell off your bike?")

To close, I'll once again bring up what I think should be the most telling sign of all as to why this man should never be trusted: Bush stole this election to begin with; the boob isn't even supposed to BE President. If someone will stoop to getting his even-dumber (believe it or not) younger brother to help him steal the Presidency, you know that's just the tip of the evil iceberg. And he fell off his bike. I'd say he's the Antichrist, but I think the Antichrist will be much better looking. And not an idiot.

Vote for Kerry and send Bush to the cornfield once and for all.